Maxwell 12/17 Bench Assist

So I get up today, and it's cloudy. And 50 degrees out. By the time I start my workout, it's started to sprinkle. Challenge accepted.

Standing Press

125x5

130x5

135x4

Here I deshirt

135x5

Now the rain has begun to pick up a bit, but because my masculinization station is under an oak canopy, the bar is barely moist. I try to do floor press by putting my wooden spotter stands at my sides on the bench, but with the shortened range of motion, this amounts to doing bench lockouts. I realize I'll have to do floor press in the dirt, which is slowly becoming mud. I reshirt: challenge accepted.

Floor Press

185x5

185x5

Here the rain becomes roughly horizontal, and for this I am thankful. With my body close to the ground, I avoid it completely, and the bare earth upon which I rest my body can't become damp when the water's not touching the ground.

185x6

185x4

My shirt now bears mud stains where my scapulae and spinal erectors dug into the ground. The rain is now fairly steady, and I face my most daunting challenge yet: pull-ups and dips.

Wide-Grip Pullups

7,5(after which I again deshirt),4,5

My pull-up bar is welded by hand; therefore, the small metal bracers that hold the welded top horizontal component to the vertical support beams provide ample grip (despite being completely soaked) to complete my sets.

Dips posed an even more significant enigma, as I don't really have a place to do them when it's dry, and now it's raining pretty steadily. I cleverly pull the Lambo up next to my Maserati and lo and behold, the hoods are level, though also completely soaked. The dents in the hoods will cost the GNP of a moderately-size banana republic to repair, but the workout must continue.

Dips

15,12,14,14

Even though the rain has saturated the canopy and my weight set is drenched, not to mention I'm covered in a shiny layer of sweat, rain, and pure testosterone, the workout must continue. I grab the tire iron, which luckily serves my purposes well, dig a small hole for the other end of the bar, and start my final exercise.

T-Bar Rows

135x8

160x8 (none complete)

145x8 2 sets

With a shoulder pump that would make Arnold moan, I head inside, eat two sandwiches of 5 (dozen??!?!??!!) eggs apiece, two sausage patties (read: entire wild boars), and a banana.

I hope the rain doesn't keep up; I'd hate to do squat singles with a wet bar.